"The surest way to arouse and hold the
attention of the reader is by being specific, definite and concrete." (The
Elements of Style by William Strunk
Jr. and E. B. White)
As writers, we all want our words to be understood.
The same holds true for a person speaking to another. In a face-to-face
conversation, the task of achieving clarity is made a little easier by means of
facial expression and gestures we understand and which convey the speaker's
meaning.
"There was speech in their dumbness, language
in their very gesture. The Winter's Tale,
William Shakespeare.
Those aides
are missing in a phone conversation, in texting and emailing and, often, in
writing and can contribute to misunderstanding.
Despite our reliance on them, words can't always
express the full measure of what we mean to say. That's because there are so
many nuances attached to a particular word and what we mean it to convey. This
becomes even more difficult when you consider translating from one language to
another.
One way to assure clarity is to bring in those
expressions and gestures I mentioned above.
Here's a brief example from the master, Elmore
Leonard (Road Dogs):
He
watched the bank robber shrug, watched him pick up his glass and take a drink.
"You're
having a good time poking around," Foley said, "trying to find out
what I'm up to, aren't you?"
"I
enjoy talking to you," Tico said, "one bank robber to another,
uh?" and waited for Jack Foley to see he was being funny.
He
did, but smiled only a moment.
And a longer one from Stephen King (The Hotel Story
from On Writing):
Olin
looked pained. For a moment he glanced around the small, smart lobby, as if for
help. At the concierge's stand, a man was discussing theater tickets with his
wife while the concierge himself watched with a small, patient smile. At the
front desk, a man with the rumpled look one only got after long hours in
Business Class was discussing his reservation with a woman in a smart black
suit that could itself have doubled for evening wear. It was business as usual
at the Hotel Dolphin. There was help for everyone except poor Olin, who had
fallen into the writer's clutches.
"Olin?"
Mike repeated.
No question of what's going on in either case.
And, finally, one from my own Something So Divine:
"Why
were you watching out for her? Did you think someone wanted to hurt her?"
The
boy shrugged his shoulders and didn't answer. He turned his gaze away.
Behind
them a chair squeaked, and Roth heard the scratching of the clerk's and the
reporter's pens on their notebooks.
"Ned.
Ned, look at me. Somebody did hurt Susie. Was it you, Ned?"
The
boy brushed a shock of hair away from his eyes and shook his head. He peered
steadily at Roth. He blinked, and tears ran down his cheeks. "She was my
friend. I loved Susie."
"Do
you know what happened to her up in that field?"
Ned
slowly shook his head from side to side.
I'm thinking of creative ways to add meaning to phone conversations---something like hearing the tapping of keys, indicating the other person's non-engagement with the conversation; pauses; sighs. Emails and texts can have a lot of misspellings, indicating inattentiveness or hurry.
ReplyDeleteYou could do that with a phone call in a story.You're right about the emails and texts.Thanks for commenting.
ReplyDeleteBefore I write a chapter, I write all 5 senses down and then jot words I can possibly incorporate into the chapter. It helps to remind me to color in the lines.
ReplyDeleteHear that, fellow writers. All 5 senses. Good advice, Sunny.
DeleteKnowing where, when and how much of the senses to employ when crafting a scene is what makes a story shine.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Thanks for commenting, Karen.
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